Earlier this year, one of my friends convinced me to start reading Dungeon Crawler Carl.
This is one of those series you truly cannot judge by its cover. Or its description. It’s not a series I would have otherwise read, but I agreed to give it a shot as part of a “media trade” — my friend’s half of the bargain would be to listen to the COUNTER/Weight season of Friends At The Table. With no small amount of skepticism, I dove into the series.
The book is a LitRPG, which is a genre that uses video game language and mechanics in its worldbuilding. Protagonists get achievements and level up and claim loot from enemies. Dungeon Crawler Carl presents a similar scenario to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: aliens with vastly superior technology have decided to consume the earth for resources. As part of this process, they have turned the interior of the Earth into a massive dungeon and are broadcasting the planetary dungeon crawl for entertainment as a death game. If you can look past the gonzo premise, the series is a really good story about how we live under fascism and capitalism, and what it means to resist when everything you do is being turned into content for the people exploiting you. It’s about found family and the struggle to resist breaking when the forces of the world conspire to make you give up. It’s very good, but ultimately I’m not here to review the book.
In the dungeon, protagonist Carl discovers hobgoblin explosives early on and begins using them to fight. He eventually selects an “Anarchist” class and gains more explosives skills and develops an entire arsenal of bombs and grenades to fight with. I’ve been thinking for some time that there’s a deep lack of exploding consumables in the fantasy games I’ve been reading — to say nothing of any bomber classes. It’s time to solve that problem.
| Bombs You Can Loot | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1 | alchemical fuses | A coil containing twelve lengths of fuse which may be used to modify any explosive. One length will cause an explosive to go off at the end of the round; two lengths will cause the explosive to go off at the end of the next round, and so on. |
| 2 | bundle of dynamite | Alchemical sticks tied in a bundle, each with one round worth of fuse. An individual stick explodes in a small sphere, but additional sticks increase the blast radius and damage. |
| 3 | box of grenades | A padded case of glittering amber orbs. If you peer within, you can see that someone has crystalized the moment that a fireball forms. Shattering one with an impact will cause the fireball to re-join the flow of time. |
| 4 | anti-armor grenade | Shaped like a handbell, this grenade adheres to the target when thrown. After a shaped detonation, alchemical heat creates a permanent weak spot on the target — if it’s still standing. |
| 5 | bandolier of smoke bombs | Each one produces a small cloud of smoke when deployed. This blocks line of sight into and out of the smoke until it dissipates at the end of the round. |
| 6 | smoke curtians | These are small cannisters that can be rolled or thrown across the battlefield. Similar to the smoke grenades, the curtains produce a larger wall of smoke that blocks line of sight and lasts for two rounds. |
| 7 | “bathwater” | Pressurized holy water packed into an explosive crystal grenade. Detonates on impact, aerosolizing the holy water in a large radius for two rounds. While not not harmful to them in small quantities, undead will do everything in their power to avoid the area while the mist lasts. |
| 8 | napalm bouncer | A bouncing grenade soaked with napalm formula. It ignites the square it lands on and then bounces (roll a d8 for the direction). If the grenade ever bounces back towards existing fire, it consumes the rest of the napalm in a flash and ceases movement. Maximum 6 bounces. |
| 9 | remote charges | Similar to basic grenades, except the frozen fireball is azure and comes with a paired crystal rod roughly the size of a match stick. Whenever the rod is snapped, the corresponding grenade shatters, releasing the explosion. |
| 10 | fragmentation grenade | Wide-range grenades designed to wound large groups of creatures; all affected targets gain the “bleeding” condition. Unlike normal grenades made via magical process, these are entirely alchemical creations and primed via kiss. |
| 11 | door melter | A tube of grey paste that can be applied to the hinges or lock on a door. When ignited, it melts through the door with little sound — but a bright light. |
| 12 | directional mine | An alchemical mine designed to function in anti-magic fields. It includes 100′ of wire and a hand-held firing device to detonate the mine from a distance. When set off, it fires a cone-shaped blast of metal pellets. “Front toward enemy.” |
| 13 | shaped charge | Similar to the directional mine, the shaped charge is designed to explode in a single direction. Rather than metal pellets, these bombs are designed for breaching walls and doors — with loud explosive force. |
| 14 | sigil poster | Sigil posters were developed based on explosive runes. As magical mines, they can be hidden and stuck to a variety of surfaces, and enchanted to trigger for specific targets (or categories of targets) by anyone with the ability to write magic scrolls. |
| 15 | sonic concussor | In situations where incendiary explosives fail, the sonic concussion bomb shines. When detonated, it opens a brief portal to the plane of noise, releasing a massive shockwave and the loudest sound you’ve ever heard. Ear protection recommended. |
| 16 | non-magic missiles | Unlike their namesake spell, these explosive missiles have no guidance systems. Point and pull the trigger: the range is your line of sight. |
| 17 | kinetic karma | A sealed barrel designed for hunting large monsters. When subjected to significant force, the barrel explodes “backwards” towards the direction of the impact with an amplified amount of that force. Typically used to stagger rampaging monsters. |
| 18 | hellfire bomb | The napalm bouncer’s meaner sibling. A hellfire bomb contains actual fire from hell. It is impossible to extinguish until it consumes a satisfactory number of souls. Using one means damning the area indefinitely. |
| 19 | airburst clothesline | A special missile attached to a thin wire: when it reaches the end of its length, it sets off a chain of delayed explosions along the wire’s trajectory. Typically fired above an enemy force so that the secondary explosions detonate overhead. |
| 20 | castle kit | Slang term for a stockpile of shaped charges and demolition bombs capable of flattening a fortress. Has everything you need to wipe an enemy stronghold off the map. |
This is my first time writing a d20 table; I was inspired by my friend and found it uniquely challenging. I have plenty of ideas, but it’s tricky to keep each entry brief.
Let me know if any of these explosives inspire you!