{"id":47,"date":"2025-01-02T02:53:24","date_gmt":"2025-01-02T08:53:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/?p=47"},"modified":"2025-01-02T02:53:24","modified_gmt":"2025-01-02T08:53:24","slug":"look-at-the-sky","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/2025\/01\/02\/look-at-the-sky\/","title":{"rendered":"look at the sky"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I&#8217;ve been wanting to blog for a while now, but <a href=\"https:\/\/farmergadda.blogspot.com\/\" data-type=\"link\" data-id=\"https:\/\/farmergadda.blogspot.com\/\">Gadda <\/a>is the reason the ball is rolling.  He said something a little while back about wanting to publish a blog post for every week of the year, and that really lit a fire in me.  &#8220;52 posts?  I could do that, probably,&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I struggle to stay consistent with things in the best of situations.  Executive dysfunction has and will always be my greatest nemesis.  It is 1:35 AM on January 2nd 2025.  I&#8217;ve been unemployed for almost two years.  Emotionally, I&#8217;ve gone through a long period of despair leading into total resignation and stagnation.  I&#8217;d given up on life and the idea that I could fight against my circumstances.  I fell into a pattern of going through the motions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Somehow, life keeps going.  I am incredibly lucky to have a support network that keeps <em>my<\/em> life going.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And, there&#8217;s a voice in my head that tells me I have to make what I&#8217;m going through worth it.  The soul of spite is one side of my coin, keeping me moving, keeping me dreaming.  I have to turn suffering into a cost, something I&#8217;m choosing to spend to get something in return.  <em>I have to make something<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The other side of the coin is hope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed aligncenter is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube\" style=\"margin-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--20);margin-right:var(--wp--preset--spacing--80);margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--20);margin-left:var(--wp--preset--spacing--80);max-width:600px\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Porter Robinson - Look at the Sky (Official Lyric Video)\" width=\"1778\" height=\"1000\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/PuMz4v5PYKc?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table class=\"has-fixed-layout\" style=\"border-style:none;border-width:0px\"><tbody><tr><td><em>look at the sky<\/em><\/td><td>put life in perspective.  touch grass.<\/td><\/tr><tr><td><em>i&#8217;m still here<\/em><\/td><td>i managed to survive everything so far.<\/td><\/tr><tr><td><em>i&#8217;ll be alive next year<\/em><\/td><td>believe that there will be a future<\/td><\/tr><tr><td><em>i can make something good<\/em><\/td><td>i can leave an impact of worth<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>I have tabletop roleplaying in my bones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I was a kid, I played pretend &#8212; calvinball style.  When I was in highschool, I did forum play-by-post RPGs and wished they had more rules.  When I finally made it to college, the first thing I did was bike through the rain to the local game store and sign up for their Wednesday night Dungeons &amp; Dragons game.  5E had just come out and the DM was running <em>Hoard of the Dragon Queen<\/em>.  It changed my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is mostly a blog about that.  I want to have a place to write my own thoughts in the ttrpg sphere, between game introspection and the latest (or oldest) discourse.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;What&#8217;s up with the website?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&#8217;re reading this in early 2025, the parent website for this blog is mostly empty.  I&#8217;m still working on stuff.  I believe the internet was better in ye olden times and I&#8217;m doing my part to bring that back.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/localghost.dev\/blog\/building-a-website-like-it-s-1999-in-2022\">https:\/\/localghost.dev\/blog\/building-a-website-like-it-s-1999-in-2022<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/cohost.org\/kyn\/post\/5332054-empty\">https:\/\/cohost.org\/kyn\/post\/5332054-empty<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/motherfuckingwebsite.com\/\">https:\/\/motherfuckingwebsite.com\/<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve been wanting to blog for a while now, but Gadda is the reason the ball is rolling. He said something a little while back about wanting to publish a blog post for every week of the year, and that really lit a fire in me. &#8220;52 posts? I could do that, probably,&#8221; I struggle <a href=\"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/2025\/01\/02\/look-at-the-sky\/\" class=\"more-link\">&#8230;<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  look at the sky<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[7,8,6],"class_list":["post-47","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-meta","tag-origin-story","tag-personal"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":55,"href":"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions\/55"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fluoriteguillotine.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}